Sunday, January 29, 2006

Saturday, January 28, 2006

Craving: band t-shirts, yummy ice cream, John Cusak, sunshine, soy milk, shopping, coconut lindt chocolate, brit rock, movies!!!

Missing: talent for guitar, my red carpet trilogy…rrggg

LaLaLaLa Means, “I Love You”

Yesterday I went to Blockbuster and rented 6 ‘favourites’ for $14.99 and bought a movie for $2.99. I’ve been wanting to do this for awhile because there are so many movies that I have been wanting to see but never got around to for various reasons, mostly because when I let myself indulge in movie watching it is often with other people and I often let them have some choice in the movie.

The movies I rented:
~The Man Who Cried (watched it that night too. Better than I thought; good story, beautiful music, Johnny Depp, great time period, Cate Blanchett was excellent and Christina Ricci was beautiful. Now, I just want to listen to Italian opera and Russian Fado).
~High Fidelity (which I also watched and I loved it, even though it just broke me. Now I am in love with John Cusak :) and want to own a music store, not that I didn’t before, but I do even more now)
~The Fantastiks (no clue, looks like fun)
~Magnolia (have been wanting to see this for awhile)
~My Life without me (looks good)
~Pretty in Pink (haven’t seen this Molly movie yet ;) so, it’s a must see!)

Oh~ and the movie I bought is called The Photographer… never seen it, but the subject matter seemed intriguing, we shall see how good it is for only being $2.99…

Well, I am not missing the stress of looming homework. I can read Mr K and other books at my leisure as I sip coffee at my coffee shop :) Actually, the other day I was asked my a middle aged fellow what it was he often observed me so intently studying. I told him that it was not for school, but I was currently reading Keirkegaard, to which he replied, while scooting somewhat skittishly in the other direction; “OOoooh philosophy! That,… I do not remember very well…” … weird…

Anyways… lately working about 45-55hrs a week… takes its toll, but it’s cool. At my new job, I am learning lots and I like that, it is challenging, and being able to handle it is encouraging (but, I do still dread busy hours and look forward to days off, I mean, I’m not THAT much of a workaholic).

Dude, I want to go to the Mayan Riviera, or the Italian coast, or … something…

Monday, January 09, 2006

Of note... surprisingly not music. BUT, I will mention The Strokes new album, Tom Waits and Bob Dylan :)
I am interested in Ethics. I am enthralled with Kierkegaard and other existentialists such as Philosophy Now's articles on Sartre and I want to know what was in Nietzsche’s mind!? But mostly, I’m empathizing quite painfully, yet, gently, with the dear Mr K.
I have overdue books that I want to read, and guess what, I have more time to read them this week :) YAY! :D (and I renewed them, so I don't have to pay for them yet!! YAY!) I am developing yet another bout of insatiable hunger for quality, mind-stretching and impassioning literature :D weeeeeeee! :D

Currently: totally fab! :D

We Are Living in a Cereal World and I am a Cereal Girl :)

mmmm…. Cereal :)

Bonnie and I were watching an episode of the excellent and suspenseful "Dead Zone" tv show (It literally puts me on edge, it’s that good) when the main character kept thinking he was crazy for talking to himself. Bonnie's response was "Funny, I find it helps me keep sane to talk to myself sometimes." I agree!! This is like when I journal … sometimes getting it out in audible form, or on paper, makes it more manageable.

Funny how people can be so quick to judge, thinking someone is crazy when they are actually the ones who are ignorant... We all do it :P Anyhoo,...

In the show he also said something like "Just walking over old footsteps" and I thought about how many old footsteps we must walk over... If everyone had a different colour paint on their feet and it left a permanent mark and we could see footprints that were there from the beginning of time, would there be any spots on the earth that have not been stepped on before? Surely on top of mountains and at the bottom of seas, but, there would be lots of footprints underwater too! and perhaps it would be easier to find Plato's lost city! perhaps...
and perhaps there would be animal prints that we don't even know much about... and I wonder if you could follow the steps of everywhere that some of our favourite people have been! :) and perhaps we would wonder at what they thought in that spot. Perhaps we would see, also, where some of our least favourite people have been and wonder at some of those places… perhaps there would be millions upon millions of footsteps in some spots and much fewer in others… how much fewer…? I wonder what colour my footprints would be...?

I spent most of this past week with my family in London. Though we were all gathered there for a memorial service and funeral for my wonderful Grampa Luck, it was a joyful and solemn sadness. Though many a tear was shed, the comfort of having each other near was sooooooo powerful and we knew Grandpa, as well as Grandma and our God, were all smiling down on us as we laughed and cried together and remembered him. We each offered our 'gifts' to each other this week, we offered ourselves, humbly and truly and openly. My family can be pretty funny, and we offered our humour to each other in this time as well as other things. I think there was more laughter than crying, as we all reminisced, and joked about silly things. Coming together like this was just what our family needed in this time, and it was Good. :)

Sunday, January 08, 2006

You scored as Divine Command.

Your life is directed by Divine Command:

Your god and religion give you meaning and direction.

"Know therefore that the LORD thy God, he is God, the faithful God,

which keepeth covenant and mercy with them that love him and

keep his commandments to a thousand generations."
--King James Version of the Bible
More info at
Arocoun's Wikipedia User Page...



Divine Command


Justice (Fairness)








Strong Egoism





What philosophy do you follow? (v1.03)
created with

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

For those of you who have been lonely this holiday season, give a listen to: Someday You Will Be Loved ~ Death Cab for Cutie
A bit pretentious about enthusiasm for: Feist’s album, particularly Let it Die, Mushaboom, When I was a Young Girl, and Now At Last. Also, Death Cab’s song; Marching Bands of Manhattan
Noticed: Different Names for the Same Thing (By Death Cab) sounds like what metaphor is all about.

There is a time for every purpose under heaven: today is:
A Day for Random Reflecting

Spent a good amount of time sipping yum at my Starbucks today before and after work. It was busy but I was tuned out listening to the above mentioned audio-candy, which was, simply delicious all around! As I enjoyed such flavour, I also devoured a chapter of Kierkegaard In a Nutshell and added notes, ponderings and doodles to my ‘personal illuminated manuscript-journal’. I wish I could ask Mr. K some questions, but perhaps I will just have to read more of his work to fully grasp his concepts more in depth. But, this nutshell stuff really has me thinking and empathizing plenty anyways! Mr.K warned me against letting “a certain pleasure or experience (as) gaining too strong a hold in (my) mind” today and yet encourages me to “pause and reflect”(32): which makes me ask if my pleasure in ‘pause and reflection’ can be taken too far. I think it can at times; one does need balance in their lives.

In this same chapter, Idleness is praised while Boredom is called “the root of all evil” (30). I noticed that Idleness is described to be like Meditation, where external stimulus is limited and one is left to themselves, often resulting in not only reflection but, creativity as well.

I don’t mean to be pretentious about my enjoyment to write about such things in my journal. Seriously, I could never describe myself thus…as pretentious; I am quite aware about my weaknesses, which is the first step in finding strength, is it not? If one can recognize their own weaknesses, they can experience empathy with others. If one can be empathic, one is humble with themselves and therefore, can be truly there for others, no? I do not call myself pretentious, only enthusiastic about life, and integrity within life; in love, in the search for truth, in the respect for what is truly honourable.

Pretentious is my word of the moment because I have heard it used plenty since September, perhaps just by the theoretical law of synchronicity, and it has caused me to wonder at it. It is a hypocritical word and a metaphorical word. Hypocritical in that, just like the word ‘hypocrite’, it is self-defeating in its use in that, (just like the word ‘hypocrite’), when you call someone pretentious, you are putting another person down. This, in turn, raises you up, making you seem more important in your view of their pretentiousness and making you pretentious yourself. Which came first; the chicken or the egg? Don’t be pretentious in answering that too fast. ;) It is also metaphorical; it has a use in our understanding of a concept: it describes something in one word which is not so easy to describe in one word.

As I walked home through the cold, windy wetness of this grey day, I was grateful to the wind for drawing out tears from my eyes when I could not yet do it myself; it was relieving. I passed a bush amoungst other bushes; this one full of black capped chickadees shuddering beside each other in the cold breeze. I am ready again to fly home to my family and shudder beside my loved ones over the loss and fear we feel in/of separation; not just from each other, but also from those we have loved in the past.

We love you grandpa. We are so proud of you. We are sad you have to leave. Now you are with your greatest loves; your wife and your heavenly Father. We are joyous you have left the boundaries of this world for a better place with them.

There is joy at the bottom; it rises up like a spring inside. God has made life good and though it is time to say goodbye, it is also a time of beginnings. It is a new time, full of potential.

Peace be with you all this New Year!