Friday, September 30, 2005

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Guess what!? I'm done my art project and YOU CAN SEE IT! :D
Just click
And let me know what you think ;)
Luvs, Jen

PS. It's supposed to look old at the beginning. Sorry, it is not very clear online :(
PSS. Here is my proposal for the piece! Sorry again, I just threw it together so it is pretty random in thought and horrible in grammer, but have fun ;)

Conceptual Theme:
"Waiting for God to return" and how we spend every day doing the same repetitive all- consuming things we do.

When one goes through a state where they find that the world has lost its luster, that being apart from God physically and seeing the world apart from Him is just too painful and lonesome, there comes a yearning for something better. The Christian knows that it is Heaven that will one day be opened up and God will bring His Kingdom come. When you think about it, we consume SO MUCH as humans, every day. We consume all kinds of things, particularly time: just waiting through it, or wasting it.
I chose to do a video because it is constructed by single captures of a moment in time and is characteristic of repetitive subject and rhythmic tension at its very aspect.

The video opens up with the regular routine of leaving an apartment and going through the elevator. I’m finding the elevator to be an interesting space, one where you are constantly meeting people for only brief moments of time, sharing the same space. What kinds of things have happened in this elevator? What kinds of things were carried by it? Watching the change of floors light up is a classic form of waiting, you are constricted in this little room until it makes it to your floor. Everyone who takes the elevator every morning is caught in a box for a certain amount of time every day, like a 3-D snap shot of time.

As this scene is occurring, Bright Eyes ponders about Jesus and if he will show His grace by coming back to earth or if things will just go back to the way they used to be and all this waiting and consuming is for nothing.

Outside, I walk along through the rain. While watching the rain drops, it is hard to catch a single drop visually and see all the ripples that pulse from it. Like all the factors acting on your life right now, you can’t always capture them in the very moment they act in time, or the rippling affect they may have. They all pool into your life experience regardless, adding that much more to your life.

The music changes to The Arcade Fire singing about the pain there is waiting and the affects of time.

Bible verses are laced throughout the piece, bringing the viewer into meditation on the words. Words that were written centuries ago and still reverberate with us and make us wonder when Christ will return. This renders through bounds of time and reveals a need that is universal and univocal through generations.

“Time, the Devourer of everything” says Ovid in Metamorphoses, 15. This is what is portrayed through the graveyard shots which show the tombstones of people who had been alive. Their moment on earth is a section of time left in the past. They occupy a fading memory space on the earth. What does this stone say about their life? What was their life like? Perhaps it is better imprinted on the tabula rasa of others who may still be alive, or are they dead as well? Are they lost forever? How long can the memory of a being stay on the earth after death until it just becomes occupied space or no space at all? It’s something to know that God knows all the people who ever lived and will always hold their being apart from our concepts of time.
An old building, dusty and bare; there are remnants of the past, almost a ghostly feel of the presence that once used to dwell there. How much longer will this building stand? Will have new inhabitants one day?

It challenges me to remember to make the best of life, of time, of what we have and to be considerate of our consumption of things. In the video, there is coffee, a cookie and a cd showing music that are consumed, simply presented one after the other, making us look at each thing and be aware of its consumption and how things disappear so quickly on us. IT shows how all time is fleeting; the coffee and cookie could not stay in one place for long without being consumed. This shows our subconscious action and reminds us to be mindful of what we do, even the monotonous things of every day. These are things that will inevitably happen anyway because we are made to be consumers. We are consuming for a purpose: to maintain life and enhance life. This is why we must be considerate of what it is we are consuming. This parallels with our spiritual hunger: that there is a hunger that is always there and that causes us to search for things to consume.

The clock ticking randomly shows our subjective view of time, how it can seem to tick faster or slower based on our anxiousness to move through it. There is an ongoing tension, and one wants to just shatter the restraints of time.

“A watched pot never boils” sings Arcade Fire, as we wait for the pot to boil. In being aware of what is around us, it can make things seem to take longer, but we can be confident in knowing that the pot will boil and we can have our tea to wake us. Our relationship with God and His Kingdom will one day come to full embodiment and union.

Jars of Clay starts to sing about the human condition, pining after Jesus, how it is hard to stay out of the shadows while waiting for Him to return, and how sometimes we just can’t feel God and get so used to the everyday, we wonder if we should give up.

The journal writings I wanted to include because it is the most primitive and rich way that time is recorded. Writing out one’s thoughts in the moment and making them tangible for people to read over and over. Connections can be made through time through words. The words chosen to be shown are expressive of the tension in waiting. This is then paralleled with the Bible and it’s images of Revelation.

Next a candle burns out slowly and a book is read. These two symbols, the candle and the book are classic symbols representing one’s life. The candle light that waxes and wanes in brightness, which lights the world in its own way as any person does until it just burns out in its time. The book which tells the person’s story. One overarching theme of The Picture of Dorian Gray is youth and how one cannot hold onto it, it is devoured by time.

The day time has been shown and here comes the night, and yet people are still out, waiting in traffic lines and waiting on their porches, for something. One does not want to go to bed for chance they miss what may happen in the night.

Enter the drawing as a dream image. It is of a person being drowned by the sands of time that ripple over him. He is caught in a giant hourglass and soon will be swallowed up. Is this all there is? There is fear.

But, surely the dawn breaks again in the morning. Is it the coming today? Or just another day where the lapping of waves on the beach repeat over and over for centuries more? Regardless, God shows us Himself through the little things every day if we only take the moment to see it. I showed here pictures of a cross in the sky created by the airplane exhaust reflecting the sunlight. This reminds us that God did come as Jesus and gives us more solid hope that he will return again.

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Come rain come!!! If I had more energy I would do a rain dance!!
I just got back from a little venture in my running shoes. Curious as I am, I decided to run down a side road that I go by often but, have never been down. It was larger and more beautiful than I imagined! I came upon some rather large and rich houses, one even had it’s own miniput! As usual, I appreciated the architecture of each but, looked for my favourite. I am fascinated by architecture, if I was a billionaire, I would design and build some of the most gorgeous houses ever built! :D I am a firm believer in building only that which is aesthetically pleasing. There is a significant and worthy purpose for aesthetics in our existence, as long as it is not all there is.
Anyways, I knew it as soon as I saw it. The house that stood out to me was simple, and old, as opposed to all the new ones in the area. It had a plaque on it, so I’m sure it has some historical significance, I will have to go back some time and read it :) It was a simple 2 story old brick house, square foundation, looked British, with dark green trim around it’s many large windows. Very charming. And lo and behold, it backs onto a conservation area I didn’t even know existed!! So, off I went to see what I could see.

Well, I came across a little place which has a view of the escarpment and was reminded as I walked, how much I love birch trees, and how creepy-cool fir tree forests are and how I despise broken beer bottles. I despise it FAR more than litter, which is already a very despicable and disgusting habit of humankind. Broken beer bottles are always found in some of the coolest spots which keeps you from wanting to stay in there very long, indeed, there is no real safe or pleasant place to sit when there is broken glass splayed everywhere!

Off I jogged through the forest, thinking how great it is that I can come and job through this forest whenever I like, and how proud my older sister would be of my little adventure and me running, when I found I was jogging on the Bruce trail! Well fancy that, at some point this could take me all the way to Webster’s Falls! Wouldn’t that be nice :) I love it there. And then, to my left I spotted some velvety skin and two black eyes looking at me. It was a darling fawn, softly feeding in the glen, and I came to think how much I love the peaceful deer and how in fairy tales they are always so magical, and how the Native Indians honoured the spirit of the deer. I thought about the fawn alone, and if she had a buck. I wished I could see the buck! Wouldn’t that be magnificent! If she had no buck, that would be rather sad! And yet, not unlike myself! And I’m not really that sad, so I suppose it isn’t too sad, but I would still hope that there was a buck somewhere in the forest for the fawn, as I do for myself :)

No worries, before I had a chance to get too sentimental and spring into the singing of “Someday my prince will come” I came across 3 other deer! I think they were all fawns as well… Well women, it seems the men are all hiding on us! lol ;)

Yay rain! :D
Though I am interested in doing this art project I am currently procrastinating on, it is, of course, being difficult with me, and though I had decided to love this project, I am starting to hate it: such is my love/hate relationship with art. What a reward when the final product is something which the artist can be happy with… Good art is like good wine, it gets richer with age. Which makes me wonder about these time-based projects that are so temporal – art pieces that fade or crumble within the time of the art exhibition… the meaning is lost with it… and yet it profoundly makes us take perspective of our existence.
Of course my art project will not be so significant because it will just be thrown together for the sake of completion and not for my passion behind my message which really gives me angst. But, c’est la vie!!!
Back to the drawing board…
Off I go!

Friday, September 16, 2005

On the Move

I don’t have internet in my apartment yet. :(
So, I’m writing this in our brand-spankin’-and-gloriously-new computer lab at school. Let me tell you, it gives me the willies. We don’t have any floppy disc ports, so, I’m going to have to buy a USB. This is a great excuse to buy one because I won’t be able to do my homework without it.
I have a major art project that I have to compose in one week. That is INSANE! Hope it turns out. It will be all I will be doing all day tomorrow. It better be spamtastic! I just made up that word… I think…

Wish I could post some pictures for you, but let me tell you about my apartment. It is a wonderful modernist arrangement of antique pieces. Modern in that it is quite sparse and simple in furnishings at the moment. Antique in that, all our furnishings are used and mismatched and it gives the perfect young adult appeal. It is wonderful and I am very proud of it. When else can you have ugly mismatched furniture in your house and it be cool?
We have a friggin old tv and can’t watch the new Gilmore Girls season on it. This is disturbing, but I know somehow I will get my hands on those episodes anyways, sooner or later. In the meantime, my beautiful housemates have some excellent previous seasons of this obsession of mine, as well as have proudly introduced me to an amazing substitution: Freaks and Geeks, An excellent show of humorous dialogue and character placements. Unfortunately, that man with the holes in his ears who will not be mentioned here has borrowed it and I am at a loss. Fortunate for him, I like him enough, and am busy enough, not to be bitter about missing the chance to waste my time watching it. In the meantime I will watch all the movies that I have not seen in this place. Thank goodness the girls I live with have similar taste in movies as I do. We actually have 2 Moulin Rouge & 3 Strictly Ballrooms. Hazzah to Baz Larman!! MAKE MORE FILMS MAN!

Recently I have watched of our collection: ‘Ghost World’ which was a great little film about misfit-ism, and ‘What’s Eating Gilbert Grape?’ which I had seen a long time ago and thought was just weird though, excellently acted. I hardly remembered the plot, but upon watching it again, have found that I must have been far too young to fully comprehend and appreciate it when I first saw it. I balled my eyes out, it was excellent, and I am in love with Gilbert Grape. Where is he?

Aside from in-house videos, I have joined some excellent people I have had the pleasure of hanging out with in watching “The Ballad of Belle and Jack” which was quite Freudian and emotive, in the end I liked it but, don’t expect you to.

I love meeting people who have similar taste in movies and music. :D It really drives me.

Still bummed about missing The Stills and Wintersleep tonight… someone console me with coffee… !!!
There is something about coffee that really comforts me. I read recently that it’s cliché to like coffee so much, I think that is crap. There is something about coffee that is special to me, and I’m sure other avid coffee drinkers would agree, and perhaps avid beer lovers could appeal to the idea as well, that sitting with others over a cup of yum IS quite pleasureful and evocative of very interesting dialogue and memorable times. THOUGH, coffee is more permissibly drank alone and at any time of the day, and also unlike beer… It also can be drank warm OR cold.
The idea of coffee is heart warming and body warming. Not only do I love to cuddle up with a warm cup of yum for some peace and quiet but, I’ve also had some really great coffee times with some of my favourite people as well (and some of my fav people love tea, which I have come to appreciate as well.)

Anyways, enough about coffee. Back to my apartment. I don’t know when it started, perhaps after going on the Tower of Terror with Young Life in Florida and scaring the Beatle-juice out of me, I developed nervousness whenever I entered an elevator. Some elevators are scarier than others. Well, now I take the elevator EVERY DAY at least 4x a day, though, it is quite often more than that. Jen wants to do her laundry, or go for an interview, or go grocery shopping, or go for a run, or go to her next class, or go out with friends etc. etc. etc. MUST USE THE ELEVATOR. Well, the elevators in our building look like something out of a 70s horror film, at least this is my perspective. It has bright red and fake wood paneling, it’s deliciously retro. There has been gossip around the building that people have been stuck in between floors and that the elevator has a mind of its own. Indeed, sometimes the elevator light skips a floor or, you end up going down to a random floor when it wasn’t requested and when you actually pushed a button to go up. I am not too scared yet, but I do see much potential for drama! And this is not just in the thriller genre. I feel like asking people who come onto the elevator what the elevator reminds them of. Sometimes I come home late at night or early in the morning and I am on the elevator alone and can’t help thinking of a perfect scene from a romance movie/novel (like all the trashy romance novels in the laundry room, haha! No, I didn’t read any of them… but there was one… haha, just kidding, so sad!!!) . Hmmm… wouldn’t it be fun to kiss in-between floors?? I think so!!! Course, I couldn’t kiss someone I didn’t know but, you never know who you are going to meet on an elevator. So many people live in this building and use them everyday. Who knows, perhaps I could meet my true love on an elevator. HAHA! You know, it gets really crowded in there… though sometimes, it’s just the two of you… LOL
Anyways, you meet some interesting people on the elevator and have particularly interesting small talk sometimes. Don’t you just love people!?

Ok, this is a long enough random post for now, so enjoy it, bc I don’t know when the next time I will be able to post is. But, keep checking back, because I love you all for reading these :)
Catch ya ;)

Saturday, September 03, 2005

Big Five Word Test Results
Extroversion (50%) medium which suggests you are moderately talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting.
Accommodation (58%) moderately high which suggests you are, at times, overly kind natured, trusting, and helpful at the expense of your own individual development (martyr complex).
Orderliness (52%) medium which suggests you are moderately organized, structured, and self controlled while still remaining flexible, varied, and fun.
Emotional Stability (58%) moderately high which suggests you are relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic.
Inquisitiveness (55%) medium which suggests you are moderately intellectual, curious, and imaginative.
Take Free Big Five Word Choice Test
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Good to know! :P lol ~Jen



Paranoid Personality Disorder:Low
Schizoid Personality Disorder:Low
Schizotypal Personality Disorder:Low
Antisocial Personality Disorder:Low
Borderline Personality Disorder:Low
Histrionic Personality Disorder:Low
Narcissistic Personality Disorder:Low
Avoidant Personality Disorder:Low
Dependent Personality Disorder:Low
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder:Low

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