Friday, June 24, 2005

Thursday, June 23, 2005

Hello Everyone :)
I went for really nice run tonight, the moon has been so big and beautiful the past few nights. :D
Dissected my keyboard today and tried to clean it out - uite n interesting endeavor to see the inside of something I use and see every day. Unfortunately cleaning did nothing to fix it, but it was enlightening nonetheless. LOL

If you like this idea, write your own on your blog:

6 Things I Enjoy in Life:
-Music of all kinds; music that makes you want to dance, that makes you want to sing, that makes you want to laugh or to love, or to just mellow out and relax. :)
-Going running on gorgeous evening, when the breeze is the perfect temperature, and you re just sucking in the wonderfully scented air :) It's especially nice just after the rain, and you can hit the trees and let the drops splash over you s you run under :)
-Nice hot bubble baths :) read good book with some good music on and candles :)
-Late night walks and talks
-Kindred spirits sharing together :)
-Going for road trips, hikes, bikes and just getting outside to enjoy nature.

4 Things I don't like bout life:
-stagnation, haziness, and the lack of energy or motivation to change the cycle
-Job searching
-Friends too far way or too busy
-Having to disappoint people, in one way or another

Ok, this is bit harder:

4 Things I like bout myself:
-I always have heart for others - I don't know what I would do if I didn't
-I'm smiley and people like that :)
-I can laugh t myself for being geek and still think I'm pretty cool
-I don't get bored very often

2 Things I don't like bout myself:
-I'd rather be super thin with no boobs and have fast metabolism
-I get overwhelmed with all the things I want to do and have to do that I just get darn lazy instead :P

*Some letters missing due to broken keyboard ;)

Monday, June 20, 2005

Sunday, June 19, 2005

This all seems surprisingly accurate!

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored.

You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic.

Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

Saturday, June 18, 2005

Hey everybody!! I have had a couple of glasses of wine, so I am very relaxed and upbeat :) Hope that your summers are going well ;)

Do you ever come across some really great chances for pictures and you just wish you had your camera there? I do! Especially when I am on the road in the car!
Today there was a rather humerous chance to take a picture:
There was a sign that read "Home for Elders" and an arrow pointing down the road, well up from the road comes a couple old men with white beards on their motor bikes.
Wonderful! :)

Almost as good as the 'Don't pick up hitchhikers' sign that used to be outside the mental institution out that way too.

Saw Batman today, I'm in love with with Batman. Mysterious, manly, rich, sexy, strong, handsome, and really, an all around good guy. Who wouldn't want to be him, or be with him? lol, anyhoo, that's all for now...


Saturday, June 11, 2005

Jen's words of wisdom for today
People are afraid of others' passions and consumed by their own.

Find ways to share your passions with others, AND
Find ways to accept others' passions
or you will internally combust (like the drummer in Spinal Tap)

Monday, June 06, 2005

I need to buy some rechargable batteries so that I can keep taking pictures, the urge never ceases - there are so many possibilities for great pictures every day, every where! Posted by Hello
On such a sunny summer day, a picture cannot capture the beauty and peace one feels. It can't fully capture the pricelessness of the breeze felt on the skin, the sweet scent and exhileration of breathing in that fresh air. It can't capture the sunlight streaming through the wonderful swaying trees that rustle in the breeze and the sunlight on your eyelashes. It can't capture the warmth of the sun on your skin. Thank you God that enjoying nature is a free pleasure that we can enjoy every day :)  Posted by Hello
When the weather is so gorgeous, I just want to take out my camera and go crazy taking pictures of flowers and beautiful nature. There is such possibility for beautiful pictures on such a sunny day :) Posted by Hello
One of my favourite things to do is to just go for a drive in the country on such a day, and breathe in that fresh, flower scented air, put on some great music! My dad and I went for a drive Sunday and the weather was IDEAL! perfect wind for sailing (If only I had a sailboat), perfect sun for the beach (If only I lived close enough to walk to a beach) Posted by Hello
Hm, how to capture a beautiful, hazy, gorgeous, sunny summer day in a picture? Posted by Hello

Friday, June 03, 2005

You Belong in London

A little old fashioned, and a little modern.
A little traditional, and a little bit punk rock.
A unique woman like you needs a city that offers everything.
No wonder you and London will get along so well.
What City Do You Belong in? Take This Quiz :-)
Find the Love of Your Life (and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.
Sunday morning I woke up with the sun, at around 5:30 am, when the birds who live in the stove exhaust fan were feeding. It was gorgeous and sunny and completely debilitating to any chance of sleeping much longer, so I reached over to the table next to me and found a book and read it. It happened to be The Ragamuffin Gospel. The last few chapters resonated deep within me and revealed to me some things which I have harboured. Much as Existential Therapy teaches, it helped me recognize that I have fears and doubts which immobilize me. One doubt really stood out to me that morning;
the fear that no one really cares about me.

Now, I’m sure we all feel this once and awhile, whether we are completely conscious of it or not. I don’t feel this all the time at any really extreme degree either. But, I recognized that deep down, this must be something that I struggle with and when I come across evidence of it, I push it down onto the accumulation of support for the part of me that feels I’m not really cared for and that I am really all alone in this world, fending for myself, and have no real worthy virtues to anyone except perhaps what virtue I give myself. The simplest thing could happen: My parents and sisters being too busy for me, my significant other not complimenting me enough, my guy friends ignoring me, my friends in town too busy to see me while I’m in town, feeling that there are too many acquaintances at school who don’t really care to have me around and not enough friends who really care to hang out with me, who really know me and who I can be myself with, not enough people to really listen to me.

I believe this feeling must result in some defense mechanism that speaks its mind in order to preserve herself, that seeks out truth and seeks out social contact in order to prove this feeling wrong, and which also harbours this feeling when it comes to guys to guard my heart from more pain. But, it works the other way too: I end up pushing people away in my desire to be close, I push the normal social conduct in order to get at the root of the issue and I end up gutting relationships. I recognize that I am not the only one who does this, whether conscious of it or not.

A lot of this probably has to do with our reluctance to be genuine about our true emotions in our culture these days. It’s all flirtation- which can be a means to get what we want, or a means to express deeper emotions we don’t know how to and are afraid too in fear of coming on too strong and scaring people away. There is quite evidently selfishness inherent in our being though; where we would rather take care of ourselves and our needs before others.’ It’s all a matter of survival and we all deserve our own space and chance to live to the fullest. I recognize that perhaps I am more sensitive to this feeling of not being cared for because I have been masking my own selfishness and projecting it onto others. I have been more selfish than usual this past year. I burnt out last year and it took a while to gather strength to be there for people again and be able to go about my own life while giving of myself for those in need again. I feel that I give enough, if my time is free, perhaps I should work at keeping myself busy instead of seeking out what I could do for others. I have spent money and time on attempting to fulfill unending appetites for material, and musical and other distracting means, ignoring the real root of my restlessness. Along with this is a deep feeling of loss: everyone feels this because life is always changing, we are missing the past and the goodness that we remember there; like the first your of university, or when you used to have birthday parties, or when someone you loved was still around. I know, I have trouble letting go, and this only makes it harder to move forward and embrace all that could be.

How can I think that I am “not so bad” before God when I have basically taken up habits which have wrung my life dry of much real joy?

I am a hypocrite: isolating myself and letting others come to me as if I don’t care (but the truth is, I care too much). I recognize I ask too often, what can I get out of this for me? Why do this when I know that what would TRULY set me free is to love with free abandon – to seek out service, not to worry about what people think, not to desire their care or anything in return – that would truly be freeing. And I recognize this freedom can’t be possible in my own strength. I don’t have the strength to be there for everyone on my own, not without eventually drawing back into my hole because of being afraid of coming across resentful, or bitter, or feeling used. It’s the same feeling as being insecure seeing people first thing in the morning before you have a chance to have your coffee, or take a shower or put your makeup on- you are cranky because you are afraid of being taken advantage of while you are vulnerable. The truth is, most often, we are using up our own energy worrying about it, instead of actually just living.

But, with Christ, my doubts about other’s love become irrelevant and the Truth is revealed to me. I no longer care what other people think of me, because I am loved and cherished by God and He alone gives me purpose and joy and life to live. My purpose is not found through the pursuits of fulfilling my desires, but through the pursuit to be with Love. Through Him, I am able to overflow His love and serve joyfully in whatever place I end up. There is no fear that love will dry up –for the more given, the more good can come of it and therefore, more love: God would never let the well of love run dry to a cup laid freely at His feet prepared to be put before those who need it.

“Love casts out fear” 1 John 4:18 Look over the full verse in your bible: It involves trust that the one who loves you, really does love you and that he won’t hurt you on purpose. Perhaps I have a trust issue with people, but, I recognize that I am human too and we are all learning how to love anew everyday ~ but God can be trusted through and through, for He IS Love, and this I know at the bottom of my very Being.
This blog post probably describes more fully why I love the following passage so much and have held it with me for years:
“Be Brave! Be Strong! Don’t ever be afraid or doubt. The Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9


Thursday, June 02, 2005

Hm the pic for the quiz didn't seem to work, so here is a Valentino, HE IS AMAZING :) Posted by Hello
Take the quiz: "what designer are you? (PICS)"

you love to flaunt your beauty and your perfect body in form-fitting clothes..thats why your valentino!